G.A.Y. is a crossover mission in "Heartland". It is given to Will, Kane, and Liz from Trey Stevens at his house.
Objectives[]
- Get in the Wooden Ship (as Liz)
- Drive to the house (as Liz)
- Hack the security system (as Liz)
- Sneak in the house (Liz, Will, or Kane)
- Drive under the bridge (as Liz)
Script[]
The scene cuts to Trey's backyard. Trey is practicing "ninja moves" as Will and Liz sit on a picnic table, watching Trey practice his moves. As he performs his moves, Trey calls out to the two of them
Trey: How's this?
Will: You're good.
Trey: How about this?
Trey performs a roundhouse kick
Trey: How about that, that good?
Will: *Over Trey* You're good.
Trey: Right, right, now brace yourselves for this!
Trey performs a 540 Kick, but fails and ends up falling on his back. Will and Liz laugh as he picks himself up
Liz: Looks like the "shadow of the night" can't even do a simple kick!
Trey: It isn't simple, it took years to master!
Liz: Oder fünf Minuten in einem Videospiel. (Or five minutes in a video game.)
Trey: What was that?
Liz: Nothing.
Suddenly, Kane walks into the backyard
Kane: Yo amigos.
Will: Kane, dude, you missed it! Trey over there starts flipping shit and fell on his back!
Trey: Right, first it was the ankle, now it's my back. Anyway, now that we're all here, let's get down to business.
Kane, Liz, and Will all sit down at the picnic table and turn to face Trey, who is presenting them pictures and drawings. Liz, Will, and Kane sift through the files as Trey talks
Trey: So, a couple of days ago, me and Will went to investigate a new neighbor of mine who just busts out of nowhere, builds a big...fancy house, and starts doing government shit-
Kane: "Government shit"?
Trey: Yeah, he's got exempt plates and he drives one of them black sedans and stuff. Like the men in black?
Kane: *To Will* Will, you don't believe this guy, do you?
Will: That guy drove way out into the woods and shot at me and Trey with his buddies. I think he's the real deal.
Trey: Oh, you're too right when you say he's the "real deal". Hell, I even figured out something. Hold up a second.
Trey walks into his garage. As he's inside his garage, the protagonists talk amongst themselves
Kane: So, Will, this guy shot at you?
Will: Yeah. He drove way out by some cornfields off Cavalry, met up with some other dudes in a same looking car, and started shooting at us.
Kane: You were following him?
Will: Yeah. I mean, what's his business here, in a small town right on the Canadian border?
Kane: Maybe border patrol shit?
Will: Border patrol don't live in huge mansions.
Liz: He does have a point.
Trey then walks out of the garage, wheeling out a whiteboard with "G.A.Y." written on it'. The protagonists direct their attention to the whiteboard as Trey talks
Trey: Alright guys, take a look at this.
The protagonists stare at the whiteboard for a few seconds before Liz calls out
Liz: "Gay"?
Trey: Yes, exactly! It's one of those abbreviation. See? Ghost...Alien...Yankton. Does it all come together now!? This government guy is here to investigate ghosts and aliens in Yankton!
Will: So, if this guy is here to investigate aliens and shit, what's this mean for us?
Trey: It means that you're gonna have a lot more feds snooping around town, getting in my business, getting in your business-
Kane: I don't want no fucking cocksucking feds snooping in my business!
Trey: Well fuck dude, let's get 'em!
Trey and Kane both cheer as they run out of the backyard. Will and Liz calmly get up from the picnic table and walk over to the Wooden Ship'. As they walk over, Will asks Liz a question
Will: You sure you wanna do this, amigo? I mean, if you don't want to, it's fine-
Liz: No, no, no, it's good.
Will: Really?
Liz: Bad ideas with friends beats good ones at home.
The player gains control of Liz. The player is instructed to enter the Wooden Ship as Will, Trey, and Kane enter it
The player enters the Wooden Ship. The player is instructed to drive to the neighbor's house. During the drive, a conversation erupts
Trey: We're doing it, dudes! We're finally doing it!
Kane: Hell fucking yeah! Gonna take out some feds and get our shit back on track!
Liz: Trey, where's this guy live?
Trey: Ah, just south of here.
Will: So, how're we gonna get in? I mean, the guy's gotta have security-
Trey: Less than you'd think. All he's really got is just a home security system.
Will: "Less than you'd think"? That's more than I've got!
Trey: Still, it's something that's gonna get in our way unless we hack it offline.
Will: Got any ideas?
Trey: Yeah. Liz, you still good with computers?
Liz: How good you asking?
Trey: Say, being able to take security cameras and other shit offline? I mean fuck, you're modding them computer games and shit-
Liz: Yeah, I can try.
Trey: Neat. I'll pass the laptop up your way once we get there.
The player arrives at the house. Upon arrival, a short cutscene occurs
Trey passes Liz a laptop from the back of the van. Liz puts the laptop on her lap and opens the lid. The scene then cuts to an I.P. identifying minigame similar to the "Bureau Raid" mission. During the hacking, a Trey and Liz make conversation
Liz: Right, what'm I doing?
Trey: You're trying to connect to the host.
Liz: Connecting to what?
Trey: The host. You gotta find the guy's I.P. address out of all of those combinations.
Liz: Huh. And this does...
Trey: It'll give me access to the fed's I.P. address, so I can use it to claim use of his security system and shut it down.
Liz: Who the fuck runs their own security system?
Trey: I don't know. I thought they always outsource it.
The player completes the hacking minigame. After completion, a short cutscene occurs
Liz hands the laptop over to Trey
Liz: Here you be, one hacked I.P. just for you.
Trey: Neat. I'll fiddle around with it while you guys help yourselves to these.
Trey takes the laptop as he hands Kane a duffel bag. Kane opens the duffel bag and pulls out a pistol. Kane and Liz both grab pistols as Trey calls out to them
Trey: And...it's down. I'll stay here to watch the van and watch for any crazy shit-
Will: System's down?
Trey: Yep. So go in there and bring him back, dead or alive.
Will: Will do.
Kane: Thanks for the cheap Saturday Night Special, cocksucker.
Kane, Liz, and Will exit the 'van
The player can gain control of either Kane, Liz, or Will. The player is instructed to sneak into the house. During the sneaking, a conversation erupts
Kane: Holy shit, this here's a big house.
Will: Exactly. No fucking way a fed needs a house that big.
Kane: Maybe he's gay.
Will: Investigating ghosts and aliens in Yankton?
Kane: No, that he wears dresses and sucks cocks on a daily basis.
They arrive at the front door. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs
Liz, Will, and Kane walk up to the front door and examine it
Liz: Big door.
Kane: Big doors come down loud.
Kane prepares himself to kick the door down, but Liz and Will stop him
Liz: Hey, hey, calm down amigo, cool it.
Will: *Over Liz* Yo, dude, chill the fuck out, we got this.
Will turns the door handle and opens it
Will: *Whispers* Ha! Fucking fed don't even keep his door locked.
The three of them sneak into the house. They look around the house as they whisper amongst themselves
Liz: *Whispers* Damn, this guy must have it made for himself.
Will: *Whispers* Wonder where he got all his money from.
Kane: *Whispers* Ripping off other people's taxes, no doubt.
They come across the fed, Cameron, sitting in the living room watching television. The three stop as they notice him
Will: *Whispers* There's our man, guy named Cameron Collins. You guys cover me, I'm gonna get him.
Will pulls out his pistol and sneaks up behind Cameron as Kane and Liz keep watch from where they're crouching down at. Will goes to pistol-whip Cameron, but Cameron dodges and jumps over the couch as Will calls out to him
Will: How the fuck did you do-
Cameron wrestles the pistol out of Will's hand. He knocks over Will and pins him to the ground with one hand and aims the pistol at Kane and Liz with the other
Kane: Cocksucking faggot fed!
Kane shoots at Cameron, but misses and ends up hitting the floor next to Will
Will: That was really fucking close, Kane!
Cameron: *Over Will* Get out of here or I'll kill you all! No trace, no evidence-
Liz: Fuck you!
Kane and Liz both shoot at Cameron. They both miss and end up hitting the floor even closer to Will. Cameron shoots at Kane and Liz as Will yells out to them
Will: Goddamnit, shoot the guy, not me!
Kane and Liz run out of the house in a panic. The scene then cuts to the Wooden Ship. Trey is sitting in the back, working on the laptop as Kane and Liz rush into the van. Kane sits in the passenger seat as Liz gets in the driver seat and starts the engine
Trey: Shitcock, you guys're back early.
The player gains 'control of Liz. The player is instructed to 'drive to their usual hangout spot underneath the bridge. During the drive, Liz, Trey, and Kane make conversation
Liz: Trey, bad fucking news-
Trey: What? Why isn't Will here?
Liz: That's the thing, he got Will!
Trey: He got Will!?
Liz: He got Will!
Kane: *Over Liz* He got fuckin' Will, dude!
Trey: Oh...shit, shit, fuck! We gotta turn back-
Kane: Are you a fucking retard, sending us in there without any proper backup and shit! He could've gotten us too if you hadn't given us those guns! Those cheap, shitty guns that keept misfiring!
Liz: Yeah! I tried aiming for the dude, and I ended up shooting Will-
Trey: You shot Will!?
Liz: Fuck, I don't know, maybe?
Kane: I heard him screaming when we left, he's probably fine.
Liz: Yeah. We gotta lay low for a while, right? I'm taking us down by the rail bridge.
Trey: Good deal, then maybe we can recooperate ourselves.
The player arrives under the rail bridg'e. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs
Liz leans back in the drivers seat, panting heavily
Liz: Right, we made it. We're safe.
Kane: We're safe. Will's another story. Got any more bright ideas, Mike?
Trey: Right, uh...shit...I guess we can round the town up, try to get a petition-
Enraged, Kane climbs over the passenger seat, grabs Trey by the collar, drags him out of the backdoor, and pins him up against the drivers side of the van
Kane: Don't give me any of your hippie "petition" shit! What's next, we gonna be sitting in a drum circle, holding hands and sliding popsicles up eachother's asses!?
Trey: What the fuck are you-
Kane: Popsicles, Trey! Popsicles!
Kane throws Trey on the ground and beats him up as Liz watches from her seat. The camera then cuts to the inside of Cameron's house. Will is tied up to a chair as Cameron walks around him with a crowbar
Cameron: I'm gonna ask you again, what's your business here?
Will: Eat shit, cunt!
Cameron whacks the top of Will's legs with the crowbar. Will screams in pain as Cameron talks to him
Cameron: I got all night, Mr. van Boven.
Will: Wait...you know me?
Cameron: Of course I know you-
Will: How?
Cameron: I don't think you fully understand the resources a-
Will: A federal agent like yourself has?
Cameron: Alright, you know what I am. Now, I'm gonna ask you some questions. What's your business coming here?
Will: My business is why a fed comes out of...practically nowhere, builds a bigass house, and does-what the fuck are you even doing here?
Cameron: I'll reveal my intentions soon enough.
Will: What intentions?
Cameron: My intentions on busting every semi truck, every train, every courier on a bike your friend Gretswell sends out. My intentions on busting every truck your friend Seiler drives. My intentions on busting you and your little buddies for smuggling our goods up north and bringing what we don't want up there down here. Do you understand?
Will: Alright, so you're here to spy on me. What do you want me to say, huh? Want me to sign a confession and you put me in that witness protection shit, give me a condo in Arizona-
Cameron hits Will over the legs with the crowbar again. Will screams in pain as Cameron talks to him
Cameron: Life doesn't work like that, buddy. What you do, are some errands for me, and in return, I look the other way while I watch a raver stuck in the '90s, a total lunatic who should be off the streets, and a loner chick who'd rather be in Germany than here in the good 'ol U.S.A.
Will: So, I do your dirty work while you laze around?
Cameron: Exactly.
Will: What do I get in return for doing this-oh, right.
Cameron: You forget easily.
Will: Yep, bummer.
Cameron: Yes...bummer.
Cameron swings the crowbar at Will's head as the scene cuts to black. The scene then opens up on Will 'waking up in the middle of the forest
Mission Passed. After passing the mission, Will automatically calls Liz
Liz: Will? You're alive?
Will: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
Liz: But me and Kane saw you taken down by that fed and we ran because he was shooting at us and then Kane beat up Trey-
Will: Right, right.
Liz: So what, you got out okay?
Will: Yeah. Well, not really okay, but at least I'm not dead.
Liz: "Not really okay"?
Will: Yeah, turns out the fed's here watch over our smuggling and try to bust us. He cut a deal with me, though. Told me to do his dirty work and he'd look the other way.
Liz: Wow. Thought that only happened in the movies.
Will: Likewise. Well, I gotta get going to see that guy, get our slate cleaned.
Liz: Alright amigo, later on. I'll tell the others.
Will hangs up